I must confess, this is my least favorite time of the year.
I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, but it isn’t just the barren, immutable cold that gets to me. Existentially, I feel just as frozen as the lake.
My writing tends to slow, poetry shrivels, and my world condenses inward. After the warmth of the holiday chaos—it all feels stagnant, like I’ve wandered into the waiting room of the soul. I wear tracks in the carpets, pacing the same rooms. My hands are too cold to play piano, the wind howls inhospitably outside.
This time of year, all we can truly do is learn to humbly endure. An important lesson, and not just a platitude. Endurance doesn’t mean waiting, it means preparing, building, so that you can emerge ready.
That’s what I’m telling myself at least.
I also just hate the fucking cold.
Ah but writing news, first and foremost. A new manuscript is bringing me a lot of joy, and now that I’ve cleared writing the first Act, I thought I’d share something about it.
The truth is I’ve wrestled with whether or not to take this idea seriously for some time—and ultimately, it’s bringing me such happiness I’ve decided to indulge myself.
Winter is long, after all.
It’s also motivated me to do something that I’ve been toying with for a long time but never truly committed to- learning French properly. Right now I’m spending my time waffling between Paul Noble’s French course (audiobook) reading Short Stories in French (with audio) and occasionally reinforcing with the Overbearing Owl App.
The good thing is, my brain adores language. The problem is, French is wiggly.
Now, why am I bothering to do this? Maybe the pitch will make things clearer:
The Patron
Gothic, Meta-Comedy, Lit Fic ~70k
(The Only Lovers Left Alive x Fleabag)
October is a jaded, struggling writer who thinks she’s landed a dream setup: an enigmatic sugar daddy who offers her rent-free life in Montmartre in exchange for weekly readings of her work.
She expected comfort. Maybe a little culture. Instead she got a brutally honest, overbearing French literary critic with fangs. What begins as artistic freedom becomes possession. And worse… feedback.
Her new patron, Bastien Renaud Saint-Cyr, is a centuries-old vampire with impeccable taste, brutal standards, and a talent for turning artistic critique into psychological warfare. Mentorship erodes into obsession as Bastien dismantles October’s bad habits and her defenses—pushing her toward the brilliance she’s always wanted, at a cost she didn’t expect.
As October’s work improves and long-denied success finally follows, the line between artistic collaboration and possession blurs. Bastien’s rigid ethics—never turning mortals, never keeping them—start to fracture when their volatile dynamic turns intimate. October must decide whether creative greatness is worth surrendering control of her life, her art, and her future to a monster who feeds not just on blood, but on ambition.
I will readily admit that this one feels pretty outside my normal wheelhouse. It’s half self-aware comedy particularly aimed toward the ‘gifted’/ MFA / Art school kid crowd, and half a love letter to gothic vampire literature.
It also feels a little strange writing something set in a contemporary time, in a moderately realistic setting. I don’t get to hide behind multiple POVs or creepy atmosphere in this one, we’re stuck with October for the whole ride.
Honestly not sure this one’s going to have any querying legs, but I’m writing it more to stretch my muscles and enjoy myself than worry about market fit right now.
Bastien is a real treat to write, especially if you grew up enduring scathing critiques from European professors. I’ve also had some lovely input from native french speakers which has helped me so much in finding his voice.
(I may still have a little trauma from a German Drawing professor which certainly has nothing to do with this book. Not a thing.)
To stir the winds of the new year in my direction, I have decided to participate in #QuestPit later this week, so I’ll be shouting into the twittervoid about The Last Dawn and even shooting The Patron out there for a little gut check.
I still have mixed feelings about pitch events, but I learned some lessons from PitDark last year; mainly – schedule your posts ahead of time you giant idiot.
Otherwise, I got a little backed up on my reading over the holidays and for the first time in years my TBR stack is honestly way too formidable. It judges me every time I walk by my reading nook, slowly growing in power.
Until the snows thaw –SMH
Currently reading:
Katabasis by R.F. Kuang
I bought this knowing that I have zero time to read it, but I am literally dying to have a free moment to start. I just know this is going to be amazing.
Paris Spleen by Baudelaire
‘Be Drunk’ is the greatest prose poem ever written and I think every poet since then has been cursed with trying to recreate it.
King Sorrow by Joe Hill
Having never read Joe Hill’s work before I might have actually been converted because I saw him playfully dunking on Abercrombie via social media and I enjoy his cheeky humor.
Gardens of the Moon, Deadhouse Gates, Memories of Ice by Steven Erikson
My younger brother actually got me these three as a gift for Christmas and I confess I have zero idea what to expect, but I’m excited to see where these go, and what my brother thinks I read.
Empire of the Dawn by Jay Kristoff
Yes, I know I already mentioned this one. It has been marinating on my stack for a while. I’m going to do it.
I just…need.. time. I know it’s going to be good. I know I’ll probably cry. I just need a moment to do so. Also, wtf it’s a beast of a book.
Between Two Fires by Christoper Buehlman
This one is another I’ve been meaning to get around to, because all I’ve heard is amazing things and yes I’m a sucker for ‘grizzled man finds orphan and protects them with their life’ stories. See above.
What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher
I’m not usually a retelling girl (Though The Witch’s Heart kind of destroyed me so I could be lying) but I color me intrigued.