Samantha Hund

cottage garden

Weeding the Garden

May 26, 2026 / / 0 Comments

I’ve been elbow deep in my garden, which became so overgrown I’ve had to take drastic measures. It’s a little bit meditative, and a little bit cleansing, to uproot the sprawly woody lavender, and tug out the encroaching weeds until they give with a satisfying little pop.

My roses, like my brain, need breathing space.

Mental clutter, just like dirty dishes, or persistent weeds, always accumulates when you aren’t paying attention. And the work of untangling it is a lifelong chore.

Still–these cyclical, brief respites are a pleasant place to sit and reflect in.

I’ve had a few new acceptances for poetry (my first micro poem!!) and short fiction, so I’m looking forward to having five (I think it’s five, anyway) new pieces published in June.

I’ve also been doing weekly chapter swaps of The Patron with my CP – which has been extremely motivating and really helped focus the story. I was doing something while writing this one that I don’t normally do; hopscotching around to write my favorite scenes first and skipping the ones I was less enthused about.

Now- I am dealing with the consequences of my actions. Having gaps in my story is unreasonably painful to bridge, and I am never indulging this again. I regret everything and from now on I’m forcing myself to be disciplined and finish this draft linearly like a good writer.

But it did make me notice something structurally that I might have otherwise overlooked- and I’m going to try a little experiment. I do so love a little experiment.

It’s been pointed out to me that I categorically struggle with my male characters. There is this inevitable phase where I realize I’ve been restraining them too much—and in doing so the reader fails to truly connect with them.

Case in point: Silnan originally had six lines of dialogue in my first draft of The Last Dawn. That’s it. Kind of hard for a reader to empathize with a character who has the charisma of a sentient rock.

I’m learning, and trying to allow them more space. Since The Patron is quintessentially a romance, I really can’t have the dynamic feel like a one-sided conversation—as entertaining as Toby can be. So, I’m going to experiment a little with my narrative structure, and see if we can’t give dear Bastien a bit more stage.

Doing the damned thing –SMH

Currently Reading:
Venus in Furs by Leopold von Sacher-Masoch

This deserves more credit than pop culture would have you believe. I was expecting some sort of bloated male-centric fantasy, but instead I found it to be a compelling examination of power dynamics as well as masculine and feminine archetypes.

Also, I’d have to say that Sacher-Masoch presents one of the most empathetic depictions of female psychology I’ve ever seen. Bravo sir. 

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer by Patrick Süskind

I think what I found the most compelling about this story, was that while Grenouille is ostensibly the main character, the narrative is structured to orbit him like dark matter. He is unknowable, and presented so supernaturally, that the story only becomes truly understandable through the perspectives of the supporting characters.

There is also a movie from the 90s, which while enjoyable enough, wasn’t nearly strange enough to do credit to the source material.

Flying High by Cletus Crow

A new release from one of my favorite current poets, I can’t say enough about how blunt yet prescient, crass, and utterly honest his poems are. Pick up a copy- you will not be disappointed: https://newritualpress.com/flyinghigh/

Disquieting Levels of Egg by James Donald Forbes McCann

I’ve always been interested in the intersection between comedy and poetry, and I really did not expect this to work so well, but of course it does. As a comedian and poet, McCann delivers a clever mix of satire, observation, and dry humor.

clark gable

Frankly, my dear

April 21, 2026 / / 0 Comments

Cherry blossoms are everywhere. Fragile pink clusters, their sweet fragrance reminding me how beautiful the world can be. Spring storms threaten them at every turn, and yet, they somehow persevere.

It’s such a relief to once again be able to sit in a café, and make plans for the summer garden. After taxes are filed, I swear my soul magically renews itself. I feel, at last, the weariness of winter melt away and things become exciting one again.

Earlier this month I attended the Writing Day Workshop in my city, and pitched live to an agent for the very first time. It was a long day, certainly, but I met a new writing compatriot, and my live pitch got me a request, so I consider it well worth the ticket!

I also just had a new poem published with Michigan City Book Review, which had such a wonderful response. It doesn’t take much to make a writer happy, you know, we cling to any scrap of praise like it’s our last meal. So to everyone who read, reposted, or said a kind word, I’m very grateful. It makes it feel like words are still worth writing—even if they’re only poetry.

I’ve officially crossed into ‘Querying Veteran’ status recently. It is now my second year in the trenches, and I’ve finally stopped sending out queries for The Last Dawn. I adore my evil little book, but at this point I think it’s simply going to have to take a back seat while I let agents finish reading it.

Instead, I want to put all of my focus on drafting this summer. In order for me to be effective (and keep what remains of my sanity) querying simply must stop. I’m very eager to get The Patron finished and ready to query in the fall, so this is as good a time as any to pivot.

I’ve learned a great deal querying so far, and I feel fairly confident in my ability to pitch and package my work, so I’ll be going back into the trenches next fall with quite the arsenal.

That’s all I really have to say on that point. There is, amongst hopeful writers as a whole, an endless abyss of querying discussion that benefits us very little. Truly, most of the valuable advice can be gleaned via a quick google search. Everything else is just anxiety talking.

Recently, I watched  Gone with the Wind for the first time.

There’s that moment, the one where Rhett (Clark Gable) delivers the legendary line, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

And I absolutely choked.

Despite my writer’s brain, and all the foreshadowing, I had hoped. Just as Margaret Mitchell no doubt intended. 

It made me consider my own storytelling again. How could it not? I love a doomed narrative. I love characters who make bad decisions. There was no way I wasn’t going to adore every moment of Scarlett O’Hara, who is in so many ways, sister to my own Hetta Rathmore.

Occasionally, I worry overmuch about happy endings. Everyone wants one, and true, it’s a balm to the soul to read a story that leaves us with our heroes riding off into the sunset.

I worry, sometimes, that I’m failing my readers by not offering them such comfort.

But as Rhett walked away into the fog—and I held my breath, waiting for him to turn back—I realized something powerful.

Heartbreak can linger so much longer than a sunset.

And who hasn’t guiltily decided to press a tender wound?

Wistfully—SMH

a balcony

Writing Rituals

March 19, 2026 / / 0 Comments

I try to write something here every month, but this month I feel I’m scraping the bottom dregs for anything to say. I’ve started this blog a few times, but petered out as I realized it’s just a bunch of whinging with no real purpose. This could be general malaise on my part. In these last few months before the weather breaks for good, I usually try to travel and give myself a chance to refresh before summer.

Unfortunately that wasn’t possible this year, and I do think I’m a little worse for it. I have tremendous creative energy, but very few places to exercise it. My work on The Patron continues, though I’m currently deep in a scene that is giving me some trouble. This story seems to come in fits and bursts, and I think the fragmented nature of my time lately is to blame.

I prefer to write in a flow state- and that requires a significant investment of time. I prefer to write during the day, with ample time to stare into space. It’s best if I do not have to cook dinner, and can rely entirely on coffee, girl dinner, and occasionally, wine.

I think of how I spent two weeks away working on my early draft of The Last Dawn. I was house-sitting in South Carolina, completely left to my own devices with a stocked fridge, and no need to do anything except wake up, make coffee, write, eat some avocados, write until I couldn’t stay awake any longer, and sleep. Repeat.

The tremendous amount of focus I achieved in those two weeks was absurd. I took a meandering manuscript that had been doddering along for months, and in two weeks I had a completed 83k draft. I was writing 5k-8k a day in South Carolina, and being in such a flow state let me explore so much depth for my characters. I had the freedom to spend a day in abject misery and guilt over the death of a character I didn’t even think I liked. I was extremely invested.

I told myself I should make a ritual of this, a book a year, with a two-week hyper intense focus period where I can push a manuscript home. I feel now, I should have taken my own advice. But when you aren’t a career writer, taking two-weeks away from home and work to write is quite the luxury, and I won’t pretend it isn’t. I basically had to eat two weeks pay in order to take the time last year, a significant sacrifice for me- but worth it in so many ways at the time.

However, this year I hesitated when the opportunity arose. It’s been a hard year of querying The Last Dawn, and while I was willing to make the sacrifice for my first novel, I had a hard time justifying doing the same for The Patron. Especially now that I know how to avoid some of the time-consuming pitfalls I had writing my first novel.

Still, I think I underestimate the creative clarity it gave me. I also, sadly, would think very differently if I was currently preparing a book for submission with agent guidance. I think certain sacrifices are easier to make when you feel you are going somewhere definite. But maybe I’m just making excuses once again.

In my heart of hearts, I think finishing The Patron in Paris, staring out from a tiny balcony in Montmartre would be fitting. I feel somewhat disingenuous writing a novel set in a place I have never seen. Instead I take Google Map tours, and virtual tours of landmarks, I listen to French poetry, and watch performances of Giselle, but I know it’s still too far removed from what I wish to capture. At one point, writing a scene at the Palais Garnier, I became very depressed, realizing I may never get to feel the velvet on the balcony of a box seat.

In any case, I am forever a romantic, and I do think if the winds should change in my direction any time soon—a stipend for a retreat to Montmartre would be non-negotiable.

In writing updates; I am starting to shop around a couple short fiction pieces, one absurdist and one thriller which I’m hoping will find homes soon. I think my poetry and fiction that’s already accepted this year probably won’t appear until June/July.

Next month I’m attending the Writing Day Workshop locally and pitching live to one (or possibly two) agents and seeing how that goes. I am forever a nerd about publishing so I’m equally excited for the panels, especially since this is taking place post London Book Fair and AWP.

I’ve hit 20k on The Patron, and I’m starting to slot out longer chunks of time on the weekend to really get it drafted before summer. I was hopeful it might be done before April, but only because my expectations for myself are utterly unreasonable. In any case, Summer here tends to chew up all my time whether I want it to or not, so I’d like to be mostly done before that- and look at querying possibly around the end of summer/early fall.

A last thought that’s been buzzing in my brain lately is poetry readings. I know there are a couple here locally, so they might be something I try. I at least enjoy hearing other people’s work. Reading my own I’m unsure of. Still, I’m tempted enough to listen and see what’s out there.

With the faintest hint of exhaustion—SMH

Currently Reading:
Temeraire Series: His Majesty’s Dragon, Throne of Jade by Naomi Novik

On paper, Napoleonic Wars + Dragons shouldn’t be my vibe. In reality, Naomi Novik can write ANYTHING and I will kiss her feet. I think something of the pre-teen book nerd in me fell in love immediately with this story. Growing up on Dragonriders of Pern, Dragon’s Milk, and a heavy dose of Diana Wynne Jones—I am somewhat the target audience. Also, since reading Dan Simmons’ (RIP) The Terror, I’ve developed a strong love for stories of the British Navy for some odd reason. Suffice to say, I devoured the first novel, I’m finishing the second, and I am beyond excited to know there are six more to go.

Also, on a very nerdy note, His Majesty’s Dragon being Novik’s debut is absolutely gutting. This is the standard. I am humbled.

The Henna Artist by Alka Joshi

This is my bookclub’s current pick, and as usual I have not started reading it yet. Yes, I’m that bookclub member. However my TBR stack is getting somewhat easier to manage, so I’m sure I can finish this one in time.

Brimstone by Callie Hart

This one is interesting. I think, for the most part, I struggle with romantasy. However, I think Callie Hart gets a lot of things right here and overall it’s an enjoyable fun read that never gets too hopeless or frustrating. The overarching plot is compelling and driven. I think the thing I notice the most about her writing is how incredibly tightly paced it is. There is no downtime. It’s literally crisis after crisis. However, and it’s hard for me to turn off writer brain, there are many highly interesting side moments that I would’ve enjoyed a closer look at. All in all, it’s an addictive sequel that stands out in a genre that unfortunately I find most stories and characters blur together into an amorphous book-boyfriend shaped blob.

On Writing by Stephen King

I finally bought a new copy of this, after my original one that I purchased in highschool got damaged. It was the first piece of ‘writer advice’ I ever read, and yes it still holds up. I’ve always been partial to no-nonsense, common sense approaches and this will always have a place on my shelf.

a gravestone engraved with the words 'The End'

The End

February 23, 2026 / / 0 Comments

It smelled like mud today. Just the barest whisper on the breeze, the snow melting into soggy gray sludge on the streets outside. Hardly anything to celebrate, but for a moment—I had a hazy delusion, imagining warmer days ahead.

There will be many false starts and stops, and this is only the cruelest of teases, but I’ve learned to cling to each small drip of dopamine this time of year. We’ve had weeks of deep freeze and negative temperatures, so a balmy 20° F gives me joy.

Metaphors aside, I’ve also had the more than welcome warmth of writing news. In fact, I even find myself a bit suspicious of my good fortune. I’ve recently had an onslaught of positive responses to my writing, with acceptances in poetry, short fiction, and even more interest in my querying novel.

I think to a point, you become conditioned to a state of silence as a writer. However, it can make certain days feel incredibly surreal when your quiet work is recognized. I confess, I still find praise difficult to withstand. I have received such encouraging feedback from editors of late, and seeing my work connect with others is a wonderful gift. I am both extremely humbled and excited by these opportunities. Expect some publication news over the next few months, and I’ll update my Published Works section with the relevant links.

Let’s see, I’ve also lined up a few writing events for myself just to keep momentum going. I haven’t done a live pitch before so this should be an interesting learning experience. So far my elevator pitch of The Last Dawn has consisted of variations on; “This is a book about people who keep making bad choices. And it just gets worse.” Which is probably not a great way to stir interest. Mostly people ask me if there’s smut/spice. I still haven’t come up with a clever answer to that.

I’ll workshop something intriguing for my pitch sessions, or at least try. I tend to be polarizing in person, so this might be a struggle. I think there must be some extra awkwardness to having someone say ‘not for me’ directly to your face, but I didn’t endure years of live critique in college for nothing.

I also find myself thinking that the next few months will probably bring the end of my querying this project for now. Calling it on a project is always hard, but next month it will have been a year of querying. I have to be realistic about these things, and I do have a new novel that needs my attention. I refuse to think of it as failure, but more of a pragmatic pause.

I’m still proud of The Last Dawn, it’s exactly the book I wanted to write. If I’ve hamstrung myself by going too risky with it—that was my choice and I stand by it. I could have played it safer, and maybe that would have been the smarter call, but I chose not to. Willfully. Stubbornly. And if that isn’t my writing style in a nutshell, I don’t know what is.

I’m not throwing in the towel yet, there are still live opportunities for The Last Dawn, but I’m too restless to keep all my eggs in one basket. I’d like to keep on track of completing one novel per year, and work on The Patron progresses. I’m very excited to see what kind of response this one gets; and it’s definitely more literary (can you be literary and low-brow? we’ll find out!), more gothic, and more millennial-humor coded than my other work so far. It’s refreshing to step outside the fantasy space a bit and write something a bit snappier, a bit more present, and overall less lofty.

A fitting end to this blog would be to reminisce slightly on endings in general. I finished reading three books from my TBR stack this last week and I was summarily engulfed by the strange grief that follows finishing a book you connected with.

The Vampire Tapestry, by Suzy McKee Charnas left me quite bereft. There is a beautiful meditative, probing sort of philosophy that is threaded throughout the story that I think is so rare in modern publishing. I think it might be our collective attention span as readers has waned, so much that novels structured in this way get lost, but I devoured it. I found Weyland captivating, and the various characters that reflect him to be incredibly human, and impossibly empathetic. As I finished the last page I was hit with that old, wonderful feeling—a mixture of satisfaction, loss, and awe.

This is the power of a story, one that truly lasts. The ending matters. As a reader, you have trusted the author. You have allowed them to take you on a journey. When they leave you at the end, what remains?

Give me something to keep thinking about, because that is what will linger with me long after we’ve parted ways. That is what will make me eager to pick up a book and start all over again.

Keep me thinking, keep me wondering, keep me dreaming.

Wistfully—SMH

a frozen lake

un hiver à tenir

January 28, 2026 / / 0 Comments

I must confess, this is my least favorite time of the year.

I know I’m not the only one who feels this way, but it isn’t just the barren, immutable cold that gets to me. Existentially, I feel just as frozen as the lake.

My writing tends to slow, poetry shrivels, and my world condenses inward. After the warmth of the holiday chaos—it all feels stagnant, like I’ve wandered into the waiting room of the soul. I wear tracks in the carpets, pacing the same rooms. My hands are too cold to play piano, the wind howls inhospitably outside.

This time of year, all we can truly do is learn to humbly endure. An important lesson, and not just a platitude. Endurance doesn’t mean waiting, it means preparing, building, so that you can emerge ready.

That’s what I’m telling myself at least.

I also just hate the fucking cold.

Ah but writing news, first and foremost. A new manuscript is bringing me a lot of joy, and now that I’ve cleared writing the first Act, I thought I’d share something about it.

The truth is I’ve wrestled with whether or not to take this idea seriously for some time—and ultimately, it’s bringing me such happiness I’ve decided to indulge myself.

Winter is long, after all.

It’s also motivated me to do something that I’ve been toying with for a long time but never truly committed to- learning French properly. Right now I’m spending my time waffling between Paul Noble’s French course (audiobook) reading Short Stories in French (with audio) and occasionally reinforcing with the Overbearing Owl App.

The good thing is, my brain adores language. The problem is, French is wiggly.

Now, why am I bothering to do this? Maybe the pitch will make things clearer:

The Patron

Gothic, Meta-Comedy, Lit Fic ~70k
(The Only Lovers Left Alive x Fleabag)

October is a jaded, struggling writer who thinks she’s landed a dream setup: an enigmatic sugar daddy who offers her rent-free life in Montmartre in exchange for weekly readings of her work.

She expected comfort. Maybe a little culture. Instead she got a brutally honest, overbearing French literary critic with fangs. What begins as artistic freedom becomes possession. And worse… feedback.

Her new patron, Bastien Renaud Saint-Cyr, is a centuries-old vampire with impeccable taste, brutal standards, and a talent for turning artistic critique into psychological warfare. Mentorship erodes into obsession as Bastien dismantles October’s bad habits and her defenses—pushing her toward the brilliance she’s always wanted, at a cost she didn’t expect.

As October’s work improves and long-denied success finally follows, the line between artistic collaboration and possession blurs. Bastien’s rigid ethics—never turning mortals, never keeping them—start to fracture when their volatile dynamic turns intimate. October must decide whether creative greatness is worth surrendering control of her life, her art, and her future to a monster who feeds not just on blood, but on ambition.

parisian apartment

I will readily admit that this one feels pretty outside my normal wheelhouse. It’s half self-aware comedy particularly aimed toward the ‘gifted’/ MFA / Art school kid crowd, and half a love letter to gothic vampire literature.

It also feels a little strange writing something set in a contemporary time, in a moderately realistic setting. I don’t get to hide behind multiple POVs or creepy atmosphere in this one, we’re stuck with October for the whole ride.

Honestly not sure this one’s going to have any querying legs, but I’m writing it more to stretch my muscles and enjoy myself than worry about market fit right now.

Bastien is a real treat to write, especially if you grew up enduring scathing critiques from European professors. I’ve also had some lovely input from native french speakers which has helped me so much in finding his voice.

(I may still have a little trauma from a German Drawing professor which certainly has nothing to do with this book. Not a thing.)

To stir the winds of the new year in my direction, I have decided to participate in #QuestPit later this week, so I’ll be shouting into the twittervoid about The Last Dawn and even shooting The Patron out there for a little gut check.

I still have mixed feelings about pitch events, but I learned some lessons from PitDark last year; mainly – schedule your posts ahead of time you giant idiot.

Otherwise, I got a little backed up on my reading over the holidays and for the first time in years my TBR stack is honestly way too formidable. It judges me every time I walk by my reading nook, slowly growing in power.

Until the snows thaw –SMH

Currently reading:
Katabasis by R.F. Kuang

I bought this knowing that I have zero time to read it, but I am literally dying to have a free moment to start. I just know this is going to be amazing.

Paris Spleen by Baudelaire

‘Be Drunk’ is the greatest prose poem ever written and I think every poet since then has been cursed with trying to recreate it.

King Sorrow by Joe Hill

Having never read Joe Hill’s work before I might have actually been converted because I saw him playfully dunking on Abercrombie via social media and I enjoy his cheeky humor.

Gardens of the Moon, Deadhouse Gates, Memories of Ice by Steven Erikson

My younger brother actually got me these three as a gift for Christmas and I confess I have zero idea what to expect, but I’m excited to see where these go, and what my brother thinks I read.

Empire of the Dawn by Jay Kristoff

Yes, I know I already mentioned this one. It has been marinating on my stack for a while. I’m going to do it.

I just…need.. time. I know it’s going to be good. I know I’ll probably cry. I just need a moment to do so. Also, wtf it’s a beast of a book.

Between Two Fires by Christoper Buehlman

This one is another I’ve been meaning to get around to, because all I’ve heard is amazing things and yes I’m a sucker for ‘grizzled man finds orphan and protects them with their life’ stories. See above.

What Moves the Dead by T. Kingfisher

I’m not usually a retelling girl (Though The Witch’s Heart kind of destroyed me so I could be lying) but I color me intrigued.

Mia Goth in Frankenstein 2025

Beautiful Monsters

November 25, 2025 / / 0 Comments

As the holidays rear their ugly head, I’ve been wrestling with the idea of posting. It seems everyone is a giant fan of doing the ‘End of Year Wrap-up’ post: tallying accomplishments, reflecting on the worth of their year. And while I think it’s always a good idea to take stock of yourself and your life for personal reasons, I feel slightly ick about doing it publicly, so I won’t.

Instead, I’ll talk about something I find endlessly more entertaining; our obsession with Monsters.

I have to admit this comes on the heels of thoroughly enjoying Guillermo del Toro’s rendition of Frankenstein (which I’ve already seen twice, and has achieved ‘comfort film’ status alongside Interview with the Vampire, Hannibal (the series), The Craft, Crimson Peak, The Witch, Heathers, Natural Born Killers, the list goes on…)

And, fair warning to stop reading here if you haven’t seen the film, as there are small spoilers ahead. You were warned.

I feel the need to call attention to one of the most underrated scenes in the film:

In an early scene, Victor’s father motions for the servant to bring him his wife’s plate. She’s left the gristle and juices from her dinner, and so, he deftly sops up the waste with a piece of bread and tells her to eat it. He watches until she does.

This moment unsettled me at my core more than gratuitous violence or gore ever could. In fact, I was smiling during the insanely jaunty creature assembly scene, as Victor enthusiastically works more diligently than any butcher to the rather twee backing track.

By contrast, the subtle nuance in the dinner scene established Victor’s father as something truly monstrous in one elegant, simple interaction.

This is the sort of character building that intrigues me. Then again, it’s a huge part of my own work.

But what really brings this to the forefront for me is—yes—I’ve started writing something new. Entirely new. I’m in full creative freedom mode, pantsing all the way—something I rarely allow myself. This story is terrible. The characters are worse. But it’s given me the freedom to explore a space that fascinates so many of us drawn to horror;

What makes a Monster?

I know this is nothing new if you’ve read my work, but I think this a theme I could return to endlessly, and still surprise myself. If The Last Dawn asks the reader; what if we empathize with the villain? Then my new story asks; can a Monster achieve redemption?

It also allows me to explore the terrors of casual cruelty in a way I haven’t truly touched before. I find the nuance fascinating. When apathy comes so naturally, that it hardly warrants a second thought. It becomes instinct. Is this more evil for its callousness? Or less because we can write it off as a thing’s nature?

I’m no philosopher, but this concept has haunted me for a while now, and I think I’ve finally found the right story, and the right characters to explore it. Though I do wonder if I’ll find readers brave enough to take the ride.

As always I can’t help but try to find a way, much like del Toro, to make the ugly beautiful in its own way. I’ve always admired this about certain art directors and cinematographers, even costume designers contribute significantly. Though I’ve always preferred novels to films, I very much respect the power of infusing story with aesthetic to reinforce emotional themes. I’ve heard the arguments that this style of filmmaking values ‘style over substance’ (every artist’s greatest fear!) and usually espoused by those who understand neither. I’ve always favored the romantics, the surrealists, and come out on the side that art is meant to elevate, to curate, to show beauty in all its forms.

I simply chose to do so, to the best of my ability, with prose. In the right light, the right context, blood can glisten as beautifully as any cut ruby. A scream can be as multifaceted as any soprano’s aria.

It’s all a matter of perspective, darlings.

That’s enough philosophy from me, I think. I’ll be crawling back into my crypt now to await the New Year and see what tidings it brings. Enjoy yourselves, have a cup of tea, and know that somewhere out there this humble author is stitching together her own beautiful monsters.

Decadently –SMH

CURRENTLY READING
The Black Carnival by Harlequin Grim

This was our book club’s pick, and I’m ecstatic to be reading it. Since my book club is comprised entirely of former and current circus artists, this one hits close to home. I can smell the rosin and tape.

Empire of the Dawn by Jay Kristoff

I admit I haven’t started reading this one yet, but it is sitting there on my parlor table waiting for me. I am saving it for the proper moment where I can enjoy it for maximum impact, I expect to be quite heartbroken by it.

Bury Your Gays by Chuck Tingle

This one has been haunting my bookshelf for a hot minute so I’m pleased to be finally getting into it. Chuck’s writing is so tight, and always a treat.

In the Mountains of Madness by H.P. Lovecraft

I’ve been on a bit of a Lovecraft tear lately (see also: my entire post about monsters) and this one is next up on the list. Eldritch horror gives me the wonderful heebie jeebies and well, this re-read of his work doesn’t disappoint. So little scares me these days, but somehow the unknowable horror still gets me. Also – tentacles will never not be creepy as shit.

a jack o' lantern at night

Tricks and Treats: Advice for Querying Authors

October 31, 2025 / / 0 Comments

It is of course the most wonderful night of the year; the fireplace is on, the wind rattles the windows, and crispy leaves scatter the streets outside. I hope this evening finds you with impertinent children at your door, and a heavy nostalgia for ghost stories in your heart.

I should probably preface this post with the fact that yes, to me, Halloween is the high holy day of my existence. Most years I spend an inordinate amount of time and effort on a costume no reasonable human would attempt (see evidence below) but this year I find myself celebrating in a quieter way—as strange as that is.

Maleficent
Maleficent - yes I sewed a gown.
a Devil
a Devil - because airbrush paint is fun.

In the spirit of a good scare, today I want to reflect on a topic that often terrifies me; the dreaded limbo of querying, pitching, and all around growing pains of the writer lifestyle.

Typically, I approach any discussion of querying with the same lip curl of someone who believes discussing politics and religion is a major faux pas. The problem of course, being that the discussion invariably opens up the opportunity for creatives to more or less neurosis-dump in public.

I will not be doing that. There is plenty of discourse online already about the terrors of the Query Trenches, and the horror stories about ‘Bad Agents’, and if that’s what you choose to feed your brain, please go right ahead—preferably somewhere else.

Yesterday was the #PitDark pitch event on the service formerly known as Twitter. I opened up my app to discover (just before noon) that it had started at 8 am. Well. No one has ever accused me of being well prepared.

So, in a flurry (between client meetings I might add) I wrote nine pitch posts for The Last Dawn of varying efficacy. Thus scheduled, I decided to go about my day, checking in occasionally to retweet a few pitches that I’d like to read, and of course tweaking my pitch posts a few minutes before they’d go out.

Honestly, I had no idea what to expect. I showed up to #PitDark like a chronically late student that missed the first three classes of the day and was hoping no one would notice. What did surprise me though, as I scrolled through the tag, was the variety of pitch styles. Lots of tropes. Lots of emojis. Lots of… confusion?

I tried to figure out if I’d misunderstood the pitch style, realized perhaps I did, but also ended up in a weird straddle. Should I reduce my novel to goth emojis and trope tags? Is that what agents really want?

Dear Reader, I could not.

Another thing that stood out to me, was the unexpectedly nice feeling of author support and community throughout the day. As someone who really wasn’t participating in the event with any goals of agent interaction (more on that in a moment) I was genuinely pleased to feel in a larger sense some kind of community around writing. Querying mostly feels very dog-eat-dog, the system essentially pits writers against each other anonymously—if you’re familiar at all with the QueryTracker ecosystem you’ll know what I mean.

Through the pitch event, I started assigning real people to manuscripts, and it was oddly refreshing to think of it that way. No longer was I up against faceless ‘Romance, Fantasy 80,000-89,999’ but real working writers with their own hopes and dreams. That was so comforting somehow.

That experience alone made participating worth it, though I’m fairly certain I won’t be getting any Agent attention as a result. Another thing about querying that I’ve learned, is you need to treat every experience as a win. I know that sounds trite and terrible, but if you don’t find some way to do that I fear you’ll never make it to the end.

For example, yesterday I got not one, but two query rejections from agents while I was at the same time very much trying to pitch my novel like a professional. Now, I’m not saying I’m immune to rejection by any means, but it no longer feels like an excuse to pity myself. It just isn’t personal and that’s the long and short of it. You simply need to keep moving on.

I know I’m proselytizing in rarified air as I type this, since I’m lucky enough to have my full manuscript under consideration with multiple agents that would be a dream to work with. But even if I had no positive momentum to stand on, I know this for sure;

  • Writers who get bitter,  are not writers anyone wants to work with.
  • Writers who feel entitlement to special treatment, are not writers anyone wants to work with.
  • Writers who throw tantrums, blame, and crippling insecurity around are not writers anyone wants to work with.

As a fellow querying author, the only advice I can give is this:

Be gracious. Be patient.

There are plenty of people who will encourage you to read more books on craft, find a writing group, find beta readers, hire an editor, hire an agent to critique your query materials, join publisher’s marketplace, pay for the pro querytracker subscription, have an author brand and website, etc, etc. But these are all academic things. They won’t help you keep your sanity, and they won’t help you forge the endurance required for this journey.

So be kind to yourselves fellow devotees of the pen and page, because at least one of your comrades is cheering you on from her firelit parlor on a dreary Halloween.

Hauntingly—SMH

P.S.

I should update that I have, in fact, received my author copies of a face full of flowers which is a true delight to behold in my hands. It’s a small victory, but there really is no comparison to holding your own printed words on real pages. Satisfying, transcendent, and of course slightly mortifying.

a box full of poetry chapbooks

I’m also a terrible salesperson. Copies are still available via Bottlecap Press here, but if you are a local and want a signed author copy (or just want me to mail one) do contact me over on the contact page or on my socials.

Full moon in the midwest

The Consequences of Sleeping in Moonlight

October 8, 2025 / / 0 Comments

This weekend realized for the first time with fierce clarity; I am hopelessly, toxically, in love with New York. I came to this epiphany after midnight, while crossing time zones somewhere in the Midwest. The moon was full, the clouds a mysterious Rorschach swirl, and Rufus Wainwright was crooning a Leonard Cohen cover over the car radio.

I’ve never thought of myself as a die-hard New Yorker. I think that sort of personality archetype is reserved for the denizens of NYC as portrayed in superhero blockbusters. I live nowhere near Manhattan. I have more in common with Toronto than Brooklyn, geographically speaking.

But as I found myself deep in the American Midwest, it was hard not be aware of what a hopeless Yankee I am. I had a critical eye on everything; from the tall, willowy, beautiful nordic girls that seemed to spring up from the hay fields like straw, to the crème brûlée that had gone sticky-soft in the humidity. Even the trees seemed weaker to me, less dangerous than those dark, sharp pines I know and love.

My homesickness was fierce. The quaint innkeepers were too kind and personal. The squat old dog that sidled up to me at the local bar was too casual, too at home.

I’d never been more desperate for sarcasm. I had come to a strange land, and here I felt like the cynical monster.

However, despite my longing for home, I realized something desperately (painfully?) poignant about being adrift and far from your particular comforts.

Writers inherently spend an inordinate amount of time in their heads. Writing is solitary, and the process insulates you against reality as a necessity. You draw upon your memories, your dreams, your fears—all of it—in order to create. But as an artist and a creative soul, I realize I can’t feed it just my own recycled thoughts forever.

I need experiences to feed the engine. Good ones, bad ones, doesn’t really matter- they all go into the soup. This is the best creative fodder I have, and why I always travel if I’m given the chance. My favorite pastime is to fall in love with strangers.

Maybe love isn’t the right word, but I can’t think of a better one. The English language disappoints me in that shortcoming.

I like to try on their life for a moment, to imagine what existence might look like through that person’s eyes. I notice the details, a unique pin or necklace, an unusual taste in shoes, a bag with a worn strap. I can’t help but fill in the rest:

She’s not just a flight attendant; she’s reading Flaubert for her online lit course in stolen moments after takeoff. She found those quirky silver-spoon earrings at a little boho shop down the street from her apartment and wears them on days she wants to feel more whimsical than her life allows. She knows she should call her sister, but she tells herself a flimsy excuse that it’s the time zone difference that keeps getting in the way and not her own guilt.

I do this constantly. I can’t help it, my mind just fills it in. Little stories about the strangers passing through my life. They’ll never know, but I’m taking an ephemeral photograph of them as I go on my way. This is how I know, despite any job positions, titles, or marketing—I have a Poet’s heart.

Listening to Rufus belt out the verse, I can imagine that too. My heart aches vicariously, yet my soul doesn’t know the difference. He is singing another man’s song about a woman he’s never met, and I can still hear the truth of it in his voice. We are mirrors, endlessly reflecting fragments of other people’s stories back into art.

Somewhere between Illinois and Infinity, another poet hurtles by on a dark interstate, driven half mad by the moon.

In writing news, I wish I had something more to report. Author copies of my poetry chapbook are… elusive. I suspect they may be sitting in a USPS warehouse somewhere between me and California to be forgotten and buried like the holy grail. Or they may magically present themselves at my doorstep tomorrow. Until then, they are Schrödinger’s Poetry books and I won’t worry much about them.

I am still in the no man’s land of querying my novel for the moment, somewhere between being read and not being read, neither of which I can do much about so I don’t see the sense in fretting over that either.

I’ve been submitting some new pieces, but I confess they are getting stranger and stranger. I have a particularly raw non-fiction piece out there that I’ve got some hope for, a small packet of mean-spirited poetry that may or not be anyone’s cup of tea (including mine), and I’ve got a little micro-fic that touches on love and string theory that I think I adore more than anyone else because I find metaphysics addictive.

I’ve also recently dipped back into a historical fiction idea that’s been rattling around in my brain for too long, and I’ve been secretly plotting a standalone novel for one of my favorite characters from The Last Dawn because truly he deserves it.

The moon is calling once again—SMH

Currently Reading
My Darling Dreadful Thing by Johanna van Veem

This is such a delicate, honeyed, sapphic story. Johanna’s use of imagery and metaphor is a delight.

Prince of Thorns by Mark Lawrence

Very grimdark, much revenge. The back and forth non-linear storytelling is interesting, but time will tell if it pays off in the end.

At Dark, I am become Loathsome by Eric LaRocca

This is one I’ve had on my TBR for a while now, and what better time of year to begin! I’m highly excited.

My Cousin Rachel by Daphne Du Maurier

Re-reading a classic, purely for October vibes. If you’ve only read Rebecca, please read this.

The Mousetrap by Agatha Christie

This was one of my childhood favorites and for the fall, a mystery like this is such a warm cozy sweater. Did you know Dame Agatha actually disappeared once from the public eye and threw the whole UK into a tizzy? Points for drama.

The Invisible Life of Addie La Rue by V.E. Schwab

Looking forward to this, I’ve heard nothing but good things. Since I read ‘The Near Witch’ I’ve enjoyed her writing, and the Shades of Magic series was terribly fun. Also, justice for Holland.

Arthur Rimbaud; Complete Works translated by Paul Schmidt

I always need a little more vicious ache in my life, and Rimbaud never disappoints.

Parking Lot church

This is My Body: a horror story

September 6, 2025 / / 0 Comments

As a kid, I never had a moment where I thought God was listening. The concept seemed flawed straight away, and my little six-year-old brain was ready to poke holes.

I had a hard time with the fact that people seriously believed in some Invisible Old Man in the clouds, presumably bearded, who just spys on people all day and guilts them if they don’t abide by his rules.

If I were God, I’d certainly find something more entertaining to do.

Still, I was mystified by the lengths people would go for this Invisible Old Man. The devotion, the fear, the righteous anger. The strange division between the various subsets of churches who all, apparently, thought they were the only ones really getting it right.

Catholicism especially fascinated me. There were so many rules! Strange clothes! Songs I didn’t know the words to! Every time I had to attend a first communion or a funeral mass, I felt like I was observing the most mysterious ritual.

People go into a cupboard, and confess their secrets to a stranger. People eat stale crackers and call it a blessing. Of course, as an unbaptized child I was a stranger in a foreign land.

Myself, I didn’t pray, I wished on stars. I plucked petals, and broke twigs. I made promises to trees and dirt and called it magic. I just couldn’t comprehend trying to strangle the concept of ‘God’ into a single entity.

I prefer the vast unknowable universe.

It makes me feel insignificant enough.

This is My Body Cover Image
A quote excerpt

But I digress.

Just yesterday, This is My Body was published by the wonderful folks at ExPat Press.

You can read the full story here: This is My Body

Every time someone says something kind about this story, I don’t know what to do with myself. It’s a hard thing to be proud of, knowing how some people feel about the subject matter. I suppose I expect the response to be angry, and when it isn’t, I’m a bit lost.

Though I didn’t write this to be controversial. Spoiler alert; the story isn’t about Catholicism, or even God, really.

If you want to know how this story came about you can check out my previous post about it here: My Byronic Horror Weekend

One last fun update, I have decided to attend StokerCon 2026 – though I have no idea what to expect. Now that I’ve published my first horror story, I can at least enjoy being among my fellow HWA members without feeling like a total fraud. I’m excited to meet all the wonderful horror folks!

From somewhere in querying limbo–SMH

StokerCon 2026
a coffin at sea

Bury Me in Pearls; or a Coffin Drifting out to Sea

July 30, 2025 / / 0 Comments

I am fixated on the last images of Lèvres de sang – a French film from 1975. A desolate windswept beach, dawn approaching. Two immortal lovers climb into a shared coffin, close the lid, and drift out to sea.

These are the kinds of stories I love. I find more romance in fantastique films and 19th century poetry than most other places right now.

I was born in the wrong century.

I realize that. My idea of coping mechanisms are; unironically wearing a robe, drinking excellent absinthe (it’s Pernod or nothing) and reading the 1818 edition of Frankenstein.

I am the anachronistic poster girl for 19th century artistic suffering and while I realize how ridiculous that sounds—I struggle to conceive of how it could be worse than what everyone around me does.

Phones. Netflix. Lawn-care. Crossfit. Microbrews.

We all pick something, don’t we? I just choose the most insufferable crutches, and I’m well aware of it. I own too many vintage robes, and listen to French jazz. I watch old poetic vampire films for the pure joy of aesthetic. I live paycheck to paycheck but insist on being buried in Prada lipstick and pearls.

You can’t take anything too seriously. That’s what I’ve learned. Life is a roulette wheel of misfortunes with the occasional, fleeting, elusive bright spot of joy.

We all lose in the end so we might as well enjoy the ride.

The real beauty of it all, is that we get to pick our poison. So no, I may not know who won the football game. But I did ache when I read Baudelaire’s love and hatred for his muse. I did tear up during J’accuse when the poet lost his soul. When Joan of Arc chose the flame.

My poison happens to be pretentious as hell. But it somehow feels more honest.

I am here. I feel. I am alive.

I am aware that society is unfathomable and insane. That we are the only species on this planet that enforce misery on ourselves over something so imaginary as the concept of ‘hustle.’ Let me have my drama, my poetry, my ache.

We’re all dying, and we only get this dream once. Is it so wrong to want it to be beautiful?

All melodrama aside, as summer winds down and I start hearing the whispers of autumn approach, I’ve got a few writing updates:

I’ve (finally) finished revisions on the third draft of The Last Dawn and am preparing myself to head back into the query trenches. I swear I’m not anxious about it at all.

However, I have to shout out Blake Curran (nouncertaintomes.com) for all of his help. Working with him has been an absolute necessity for me during this process. Thanks to his insightful, and meticulous critique, I completely reconstructed my novel. It is now deeper, bloodier, and more brutal – and at last, cuts just right.

Blake is a wonderful human (see also: possible Australian demon) and he’s been incredibly supportive throughout my many spirals. I really couldn’t have pushed myself so hard without his steadfast encouragement. Hats off to the editors, because without them we writers would simply be melodramatic nonsense puddles that use too many commas.

Also, my horror story; This is My Body is going to be published in September, but I’ll do a full post on that later. It’s an uncomfortable little story but if you like that sort of thing, I can’t wait to share.

I’ve also recently joined the Horror Writers Association, and it’s been exciting to become a part of that community. Also maybe a little overwhelming, but I am navigating.

In less serious news I’ve begun working on a meta-comedy novella, which may never see the light of day, but it has really been helping me laugh at myself. I will not further embarrass myself with the logline here, because I have been told repeatedly, I am not actually funny.

Back to the trenches I go—SMH

Currently reading:

Don’t Let the Forest In by CG Drews

Beautiful and visceral in all the right ways. Truly haunting, and the interwoven fairytale prose cut straight to my heart.

Frankenstein: The 1818 Text by Mary Shelley

Reading this makes me weep. For obvious reasons.

Carmilla by J. Sheridan Le Fanu 

Indulgent, gothic, atmospheric, sapphic, classic. What’s not to love?

The Devils by Joe Abercrombie

Absolute powerhouse. This man. How dare he be this good. How dare he just reappear and drop this blood-soaked joyride? How. Dare. He.

Also there is a crazy beautiful UK edtion of this that makes me angry to be American.

Exquisite Corpse by Poppy Z. Brite

Not my first time reading, will not be my last. This novel holds a very special place on my shelf as perhaps the most disturbing book I own. Not for the faint of heart or stomach, painfully indulgent and hyper-sexual, but still legendary in its audacity.

Zombie by Joyce Carol Oates

Again, an old favorite. This book… fundamentally changed me. And explains a lot about my writing. Highly disturbing, but what I find iconic is the narrative style and voicing. So chunky, stuttered, and painful to read. I love it.

Letters to Milena by Franz Kafka

I cannot describe how this book makes me ache. This is romance, I will accept nothing less.

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